Why are rites of passage so important to young men? How can it help fathers and sons develop deeper connections? Tim Strickland is the Executive Director of “Christ in the Smokies,” a Rite of Passage retreat ministry for young men. In this conversation, Tim shares how he became passionate about the next generation, why rites of passage are important, and why he believes the older generation has to invest in the next generation.
You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in…
- Learn more about Tim Strickland [1:08]
- Getting involved with the next generation [3:53]
- The crisis that shaped Tim’s story [5:29]
- Tim’s advice for struggling through a loss [8:38]
- The beginning of Christ in the Smokies [10:48]
- Targeting three different seasons of life [15:04]
- Experiencing “The Passage to Manhood” [17:51]
- Share your lifetime of wisdom with others [22:13]
- Overcoming the three barriers men face [27:16]
- Why rites of passage are important [34:58]
- The lightning round [38:00]
Building a passion for the next generation
After Tim and his wife Toni got married they started attending a Presbyterian church in Ft. Lauderdale. After they had their son, they started attending a “Homeplace” ministry at their church, geared toward helping young families learn how to raise their children in a Christian home.
When they moved to Georgia, Tim got involved in his church’s middle school ministry, where he served for 19 years. His wife jokes that he’s the perfect fit for middle-schoolers and fits right in.
The crisis that shaped Tim’s story
In 2016, Tim’s son was killed in a car accident. He was only 23. Tim would never wish the loss of a child on his worst enemy. Tim notes there were some days he just had to remind himself to keep breathing. He and his wife had to lean on their community. He doesn’t know what they would’ve done without them.
They chose to run to God in their anger and hurt. Tim knew that 80% of marriages end after the loss of a child. He was determined he wouldn’t lose Toni, too. He’s thankful that they’ve pushed onward together and still make an impact on the world.
Tim points out that navigating grief is not a problem to solve, it’s a tension to manage. Men are great at stuffing things down and ignoring them. However, you have to process and deal with loss. He emphasizes that God can handle whatever you’re feeling. You just have to learn to have those difficult conversations with God.
Christ in the Rockies
In 2014, Tim took his son on a Christ in the Rockies trip after reading “Raising a Modern-Day Knight.” It’s all about celebrating the milestones and “rites of passage” that move a young man along into adulthood. It was an amazing experience that resonated with him. It was about teaching boys what it meant to be a man.
The year after his son passed away, he and Toni went on another trip. The organizer, Mike Haddorff, said, “Why won’t you do this in the Southeast?” After praying about it, Tim and Toni dove in. He is the mouthpiece and she is the brain behind the operations. They’ve now been doing it for seven years.
Experiencing “The Passage to Manhood”
Dads want something for their sons that they didn’t get to experience. You show up to a retreat as father and son and you walk away from the week as two sons of the father along a faith journey. They have great life experiences while comparing and contrasting “big rock” ideas.
Success in the ballfield, the bedroom, the boardroom, and the billfold are the things most men chase. It’s the way the world defines success. But there’s a different way of doing things. Everyone is in the sanctification process. Knowing what you’re shooting for as a young man is a huge deal.
The men who attend the “Christ in the Smokies” retreats get to meet a community of other men walking through the same experience. It allows you to connect with each other and shift from solving things as father/son to solving them as men walking alongside each other.
Listen to hear Tim share why he believes you have to open your heart and be willing to impart your wisdom on the next generation.
Resources & People Mentioned
- Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis
- Healing the Masculine Soul by Gordon Dalbey
- The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary by Ronald Siegel
- Birth, Not Behavior: A Fresh Look at the Prodigal Son by Mike Haddorff
- Five Things God Uses to Grow Your Faith by Andy Stanley
Connect with Tim Strickland
Connect With Spiritual Fathers
- The Spiritual Fathers website
- SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com
Audio Production and Show Notes by – PODCAST FAST TRACK